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BREATHING ROOM: Carrying the weight

BREATHING ROOM: Carrying the weight

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Yesterday was especially hard for me.

The weight of all of this. The weight of people’s pain and prejudice. The weight of our little one facing very serious stuff. The weight of innocence lost.

The weight of telling someone they’ve tested positive. The weight of considering the ripple effect. The weight of knowing every day my husband and friends hear more and face more in the battle against the disease in our community.

The weight of thousands upon thousands of deaths. The weight borne by health care providers, public health workers, emergency services, teachers, food banks, child care providers and so many more to provide necessary services while balancing safety and well-being.

The weight of losses: lives, time together, jobs, roles and income. The weight of finding ways to keep employees employed. The weight of keeping businesses running safely.

The weight of educators trying to figure out how to educate well and safely in face of a growing pandemic. The weight shouldered by teachers, administrators, janitors, as they face their own risk factors, even as they consider balancing the risks of their students and respective families. The weight of risks, including not only this unbearable virus but also food insufficiency, violence, reports of increasing drug and alcohol usage among adults who have been caring for children at home for many months, and the challenge involved in equal access to technology.

The weight of single parents with limited support systems to educate their kids virtually as school systems start back. How can a parent get kids logged in for school at home by 8 a.m. when that person is also supposed to be at work no later than 8 a.m.?

The weight of hate is too great to bear. The weight of fear is too great to bear. The weight of sexism, ageism, racism, heterosexism, any kind of -ism even in the midst of this muddle. The weight of all this pain.

And then, I hear a whisper.

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30 KJV)

Longing to breathe deeply and to walk with others as they seek to meet their longings, C.A. Rollins writes and invites you to reflect with her at carollinswrites@gmail.com.

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