Bear Grease (copy) (copy) (copy)
Cabin fever can get you thinking about off-the-wall stuff. The last of January/first of February was cold and snowy as y’all remember. The grandkids came up and sledded some but otherwise there wasn’t much to do but shovel snow, watch the birds at the feeder and try not to slip on the ice. I brought my Muck boots home from the cabin but wearing them for an extended time hurts my ankles so I defaulted to my leather boots after a few days. I hadn’t been too diligent in keeping them oiled so they soaked through in no time. They have Gore-Tex membranes, but you know how that goes. Is there a bigger scam out there than clothing and shoe manufacturers continually trying to convince us that Gore-Tex will keep you dry? I’ll spare you a polemic.
Once my boots dried, I suppose I could have applied the “scientifically formulated” leather conditioner that the manufacturer sold me (tiny bottle=$15) but as I said, my mind was in a different place. I kept coming back to a jar of pearly, pasty substance that’s been sitting in the ‘fridge for several years. Tim rendered the stuff from a bear he shot a few years back and did a darn good job. He carefully cut the fat away from the meat, cubed it and cooked it in a big pot until all the water boiled out. He then sealed it in mason jars. Its about as pure a bear grease as you’re likely to see, although I’m far from expert on the topic.
If you do a bit of research, you’ll find that bear grease was an all-purpose staple in frontier times. It doesn’t go rancid as quickly as pork fat so it stores for a long time. It can be used as shortening for biscuits and pie crust. The taste is neutral and it has a high smoke point. Steve Rinella (The Meat Eater) says its superior to vegetable oils for frying. It was used as a lubricant for tools and guns and supposedly shines as a leather conditioner. Before the widespread use of petroleum lubricants, bear grease was a common U.S export commodity.
Despite the praise, I’d been reluctant to use the stuff on my everyday boots but what the heck? Its been a long winter. I uncapped the jar and popped it in the microwave for 30 seconds. It liquefies readily and has no odor (really!). The texture is no different from any other oil you’d use on leather and it penetrates easily. Once absorbed the leather is supple and soft with no greasy feel. Like any oil, it will darken the leather but I tend to like the darker hues. I applied a couple of coats then gave them a test run in the snow. Yep, definitely superior to the above-mentioned membrane. My feet stayed mostly dry.
I consider myself a pragmatist. I’m not going to use a product just because its “natural” but there’s something satisfying about reconnecting to our heritage by using something that’s been prepared and used in the same way for millennia. The fact that it works better than something pumped out of a west Texas oil well and sold on-line by Mr. Bezos is even sweeter. The downside is our supply is limited. If I plan to use it for my leather things long term, someone’s gonna have to shoot another bear.
Even more off the rails, I’m fantasizing about something else. Being mostly retired and never a slave to fashion, I wear my boots lots of places. In my fantasy, I’m at a gathering of cultured folks – like a dinner party or a concert. Part of the fantasy is that I’d be invited to such an event. Someone notices my boots. They intend to damn me with faint praise. “I noticed your boots. The leather looks fantastic. Is it Italian?”
“Made in the US as far as I know. I use a special process to keep them looking good.”
“What is that?”
“Bear grease. Killed the critter on our property. Its an old Mountain Man trick for conditioning leather.”
“Ohhh. Ha. Ha. That’s a good one.” Forced laughter while trying not to stare at the boots. The person nervously scans the room to find another conversation.
“I’m not joking. I’d give you some but I’m running low. If we get a bear next year, I’ll keep you in mind.” Unable to find another group, the person mutters something unintelligible and makes a beeline toward the bar.
Never miss a chance to work on your Mountain Man chops. No one ever need know that you use the microwave to heat up your bear grease.
