Seasons at Demeter: The Great Waffle Debacle (copy)
I really want this to go well. Joneen’s sister, Mary Jo, is visiting the cabin for the first time in many years. We’ve had a nice visit, took a long ATV tour and did a fish fry. Mary Jo seems to be enjoying herself. Today is her final morning with us and I’ve saved the best for last. I heat up the cast iron waffle maker and mix up a batch of batter. Trying to make it a gourmet affair, I add bit of cinnamon and vanilla. Once the iron is hot, I push my usual cooking spray (you know, the yellow one with the red cap) to the back of the cabinet, pull out the avocado oil and liberally douse the iron. Avocado oil you ask? We might live in the woods but we ain’t necessarily rubes. Fine dining lives here, too.
I pour in the batter and flip the iron a few times. I’m looking forward to a crispy, golden brown work of art but things go off the rails when I try to open the iron. What the heck! The iron is stuck together like a #2 leghold. I have to pry it open. With enough force the waffle splits cleanly down the middle. I try to use a fork to dislodge it without luck.
Trying not to let my embarrassment show, I shut down the burner, let the iron cool off and spend ten minutes scrubbing the remnants of the waffle into the sink. Mary Jo tries her best not to laugh out loud. This has never happened before and I know there’s only one difference in the preparation. Time to swallow my pride and salvage this. I heat up the iron again, retrieve the PAM from the cabinet, spray the iron as usual and we enjoy a wonderful waffle breakfast.
Why am I feeling PAM shamed? I did some research into the reasons some health and environmentally conscious folks frown on its use. Spray cans use propellants which can be a problem. The EPA says the propellants in PAM are safe, although a pump sprayer may be better and cheaper. PAM also uses highly processed oils which aren’t “heart healthy” although in the amounts used to coat a waffle iron, I’m not sure that’s much of an issue. The anti-stick ingredient is soy lecithin which in some cases could be made from (gasp) genetically modified soybeans. I don’t intend to start a debate but from my perspective there’s a smidge of science and a big helping of political correctness involved.
I told my buddy, Phil, about the waffle incident which precipitated a crisis of sorts. His daughter, Kelly, is vehemently anti-PAM, so much so that she forbids its use in his kitchen. Phil has an electric waffle iron and enjoys a waffle from time to time. Hoping to stay in Kelly’s good graces, he set out to debunk my research. Different conditions, of course, which could call his results into question. He also used olive instead of avocado oil to coat the iron. He was a bit sheepish when he reported that he, too, ended up with a stuck and mangled waffle.
He immediately launched an on-line search for a non-PAM alternative. He was able to find several anti-stick products that have labelling stating that they’re environmentally friendly and heart healthy. He ordered a couple. Problem solved, right?
Uh, not so fast. When you scroll down to the fine print, the anti-stick ingredient in all of the products is…you guessed it…soy lecithin. I asked Phil how he intended to break the news to Kelly.
“Oh, that’s easy. I’m not going to tell her.”
“What about waffles?”
“That’s what a can of PAM in a brown paper wrapper is for.”
I’m not sure there’s profound lesson hiding in all of this. We all have our strongly held beliefs that are sometimes a bit thin in their factual underpinning. We humans are just as often irrational as rational. There’s also nothing in this life that is totally risk-free. You make the best decisions you can with the information you have and sometimes you decide that enjoying your life is worth a bit of extra risk. That’s my calculus. Yours is up to you.
For now, I’ll be sticking with (pun intended) waffles and PAM.
